What Kind of Cyclists Are You?

A taxonomy of cyclists. You know these guys and gals. In fact Chris is probably a version of Gearheadicus Stubbornous Erectus (GSE). At least Chris agrees with the down-tube shifter idea. I like the drawings as well as the descriptions.–Corrie

Which Species Of Cyclist Are You?

Listen up! This is a tongue-in-cheek overview of some of the more interesting and dedicated cyclists you may see and meet. No offense is intended. We’re just trying to have some fun and brighten your day. We fit into a few of these categories, too! No cyclists were harmed researching this article. Credit approval required. Your tire mileage may vary.

Cycling is a splendid and wonderful activity; our absolutely favorite thing, in fact. If you’ve been a cyclist for very long, you’re probably evolving into one of the many species of wheel men and women. You’re not alone, it’s happened to all of us, too.

When we’re new to the sport, we’re not quite sure where we fit in. Gradually, a transformation takes places and we become fanatics, we use cycling jargon that only our compadres understand, and we lust for bikes that make us faster, more comfortable or better riders. Lots of other velo aficionados share the characteristics we develop, too. You and those that you have so much in common with become a species. So, here’s a field guide to a variety of the creatures that inhabit the two-wheeled forest. Be sure to let us know which one you think WE are when you come in! See more Species

Urbanicus Messengericus (UM)

Found in heavily urbanized areas, this phylum of the cycling family has more tattoos than T-shirts. Fond of bragging about how long he or she held onto a furniture delivery truck, Urbanicus Messengericus is an extremely brave creature with absolutely no fear of vehicles higher up the impact chain, and with amazing reflexes and peripheral vision, which let him dart in and out of traffic like the marble in a pinball machine. The bike of choice of UM is a fixed-gear track bike, preferably with cow-horn bars. Yet, any bike will do as long as it is heavily covered in electrical tape which makes the bike less appealing to other predators and protects it from Messengericus’s second-most-important piece of equipment: the heavy lock. Despite aerobic prowess, cigarettes and other smoky pleasures are not frowned upon. Messengericus thrives in many different climates and seems virtually immune to extreme heat, cold and traffic police. Best of all, he’s living proof that cities are made for BIKES, not cars.

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